How am I supposed to get over M when everywhere I look, everything I hear, every thought that crosses my mind reminds me of my loss? (I’m even tempted to say ‘our’ loss… but… let’s just not)
Almost everything around me seems to be ‘infused’ with words or thoughts from him: my workplace, from where I’d share stories; my books, about which we talked; some websites we both now visit; places we envisioned visiting together; movies we’ve seen or wanted to see; even certain colours make me think of him, the great moments we shared, and make me want to tell him something, maybe a silly thing that just happened at work – but then I realize I just can’t… I should better say ‘I just shan’t'…
I know this is normal, I know this shall pass… And I also wish everyone I rant about it to, would just stop telling me that I “should get over it because it was obviously not meant to be” – I know why they say it and what they mean to achieve, but: It. Just. Doesn’t. Bloody. Help. (Excuse my language… and of course I don’t mean anyone out there in the blogosphere, eh?) *sigh* Now that I’ve gotten that out of my system…
I’ve found something today that will probably help, thank you Charlotte: I will try my best, I will just listen to my heart as you say – even if that means filling my trashcan with even more damp tissues – and list all the things for which I am grateful, instead of focusing on the things that I miss – oh my, this is going to be a tough call! :/
Now if you’ll allow me, I am going to try and find a quiet place to glue back those little pieces of heart ( hard work to find quiet right now, mind you, on an important football night in Spain…)
Filed under: Musings
